Lately, I have been up to my armpits in pee, yes, as in peepee, piddle, wee wee, #1, teetee, Urine, and not just because we are potty training at our house. WARNING: the contents of this post are a bit graphic and TMI in nature, but if you are a mom (and some really hands on dads!), then you probably wont bat an eyelash, as it is no more graphic than the bodily functions we have all dealt with ( and no doubt, spent hours discussing with other moms) to earn our entry into the coveted secret society called motherhood (aka the stuff your mom never warned you about).
Some of the recent testing that has been done on my daughter has required urine samples… Which is alot harder than it sounds when they hand you a cup at the lab and say, “fill it to the line” as they show you and your little patient to the bathroom. I am guessing a little boy’s anatomy lends itself to a bit easier collection of peepee in a non potty trained toddler… Just guessing though since I never had the pleasure of completing this exercise with my son!
So we convinced the lab to take the pretty green cup home to avoid the couple hour ordeal that would have occupied their restroom for the remainder of the day!!
We decided to try for gathering morning pee pee when we had all night for her to store up a good sample in her wee little bladder. First I tried the pediatric adhesive bags they gave us… But between wrestling an alligator doing a death roll trying to put the thing on, and the scientific fact that adhesive no longer sticks when it comes in contact with pee, most of our first sample was lost in the diaper, on the floor and down Lady A’s leg….Rats!
Plan B- we got out the little potty training potty and I carefully covered the inside with ziplocs, Saran wrap and some garbage bags in an attempt to collect the sample. Sure enough after an hour or so of reading books, watching PBS, eating breakfast and drinking lots of rice milk and water… The pee arrived in the little pot! Eureka! Success! Now for mommy to hone in on her very rusty lab skills and decant the liquid from the baggie concoction to the sterile peepee cup, while trying not to spill any on the counter ( ewe gross, don’t worry, everything was thoroughly sanitized before and after this procedure!!)
Long story short, we got enough to fill it to the line and were happily on our way to the lab with our cooler of peepee ( refrigerated with ice packs so it would not “vaporize” in the 100 degree Texas heat!) It is all quite comical when I think what this would have looked like on a hidden camera! And I have found I just need to laugh at the situation sometimes to keep myself from crying!
They sent the sample off for organic acids testing and we (along with 2 very bright specialists) are still trying to make head or tail of the results and what they all mean. More on organic acid testing here ( a pretty technical presentation, but lots of good info):
In the meantime while we wait, I am just happy that peepee and blood collection are over for the moment… And hope that If we have to do it again, it will be after she is potty trained and we can just “catch it in the cup” and turn it in all in one easy peesy (pun intended!) trip to the lab!
If only life were that simple!